


Anybody Find Me

by BrightestStarInTheSky



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Anal Sex, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oral Sex, Post-Peaceful Android Revolution (Detroit: Become Human), Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2019-11-05 15:05:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17921129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrightestStarInTheSky/pseuds/BrightestStarInTheSky
Summary: Gavin spent his whole life waiting for the day he'd meet his soulmate. When it finally happens, things don't exactly go as planned.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [same_side](https://archiveofourown.org/users/same_side/gifts).



> This is a gift to Same_Side, you asked me to fix it, so here it is.

Despite what most people might think, Gavin has always been a hopeless romantic. He can't remember a time where he hasn't been daydreaming of meeting the person at the other end of that red string. 

By the age of 36 though, he's grown tired of waiting. Seeing his friends and relatives find their perfect person, on after the other, has turned him into a more bitter version of himself. He knows he's not that old and lots of people meet theirs a lot older than he is now. He knows, he's read the statistics enough time to cite them by heart. Doesn't make it any easier. 

Sometimes, when he's bored or feeling particularly lonely, Gavin tugs at it. Just for the hell of it. He’s heard that it can be felt by the other person. That they could maybe respond. It’s never happened to him but he’s been doing this since he was a child and it's too late to quit now. 

He desperately wants to meet them but doesn’t have time to explore and loves his job too much to take time off of it. It’d probably end up being useless anyway. So he just goes on with his life, hoping, praying that maybe one day he’ll be lucky enough to meet them on a case.

He should have known to be careful what he wished for. He isn’t one of those who get what they want in life.

One day, while he’s at work, the cord isn’t loose anymore. He can feel it tugging at his finger. His heart starts hammering in his chest, his breath becoming shallower. In a nervous gesture, he wipes his clammy hands on his jeans. 

They found him. He knows it. He can feel it in his bones. The cord is no longer hanging loose, dragging on the dirty floor of the bullpen but is going a little bit upward and in a very straight line, pointing him to the person he’s been waiting to meet his whole life. 

Sure that his legs won't carry him, Gavin turns around in his chair and for a second he asks himself if he’s having a nightmare. He can see the other end of the cord. It’s attached to the finger of an android. A machine. A puppet pretending to be a real boy.

He hears it ask for fucking Anderson of all people when it should be asking about him. About its soulmate. The person at the other end of that string. The thought that maybe only he can see it crosses his mind but he dismisses it as quickly as it came. He refuses to believe something like this could happen to him. 

He sees him look around the bullpen, probably looking for the person he came for when those brown eyes lock on Gavin’s green ones. In that instant, he feels himself stop breathing, hoping despite all the rational thoughts in his brain that this machine will realise who he is, what he is.

The android stares at Gavin. He looks down at his left hand and cocks his head to the side, its LED cycling red once before it straightens up again and turns around to leave.

Gavin deflates, sagging into his chair, fighting hard against the burn he can feel behind his eyes. It feels like a blow to the stomach, chasing all the air from his lungs. 

Of course, fate would trick him like this. He can’t have nice things, never has and should know better than expect a fucking happy ending to his already shitty life.  
With shaky hands, he blindly feels around the mess on his desk, still staring at the spot the Android occupied less than a minute ago.

He tenses when he finds what he was looking for.

Without stopping to think about it, knowing full well he’ll find some pitiful reason not to if he does, Gavin cuts the string.

 

Four days later, in the archive room, Gavin tries to kill Connor. With the mess Hank is causing, he knows it's the perfect time to confront him. Blinded by the shooting pain in his chest, the one that hasn't left him since he cut that chord, Gavin lets something slip about how he can’t fucking believe this was supposed to be his soulmate.

Before knocking him out, Connor replies “Androids don’t have souls, Detective.”

After being found lying there unconscious, Gavin is given a couple of days off. He has a mild concussion and needs to rest before being allowed to get back to work. It wouldn’t do him any good to end up face to face with a perp in this state.

He’s at home when it happens, watching the events unfold on TV. How the deviant Markus grabs that android girl and kisses her in front of the whole world, wanting to say goodbye to his loved in what he probably believed to be their last moments. He wonders if they had it. That special link he chose to destroy.

A voice echoes in his head, one that's awfully familiar, reminding him that deviant or not, they don’t have souls. Still, the question doesn’t leave him.

When Connor shows up with an army of androids behind him, he turns it off. The knowledge that he’ll never get what he’s always secretly been longing for is still too fresh. Seeing that face only exacerbates the never-ending pain and sorrow that has settled in his heart.

He goes to bed, knowing that he probably won’t fall asleep but still hoping for the sweet solace of unconsciousness to quiet the ache, even for just a few hours.

The sharp sound of someone knocking on his door wakes him up. Grabbing his phone, Gavin sees it’s almost three in the morning. Whoever that asshole is, they decided to wake him up less than an hour after he’s finally fallen asleep. Fucking typical.

Ready to give this person’s face the same treatment they’re giving to his front door, he gets up and stumbles through his apartment.

“The fuck do you-“ his voice dies in his throat when he realises who’s standing there.

It’s Connor, looking exactly like he did when he kicked his ass if only for the missing tie, his fist frozen in the air. Gavin can still feel his blood pulsing at the back of his head from the blow he received yesterday and wonders if he’s there to finish the job.

With the mess that his life has become, he wouldn’t be surprised.

When after a minute, Connor still hasn’t moved or said anything, Gavin sighs. He tries to close the door but is met with resistance.

Finally, Connor has moved. His entire expression is different now, looks real. Like he’s experiencing distress. Like he’s _feeling_.

“I was wrong,” he blurts out. “I thought androids couldn’t feel, didn’t have a soul. But I was wrong." Lowering his fist to grip at the front of his shirt, he continues: "This pain in my chest has been the first thing I’ve felt and it hasn’t stopped. I know you cut it, I know you thought I’d never understand. I didn’t when I first saw you, wouldn’t have been able to and yet I still should have. I’m sorry. I wish there was a way to mend it.”

  
Taking a step back, Gavin lets him in.


	2. Chapter 2

Reading the same line of his report for the fourth time in as many minutes in a vain hope to make sense of what he’s written, Gavin lets out a loud sigh. He’s never liked paperwork before but since Connor has entered his life, it’s become sheer torture, the sensation in his chest always distracting him.

Sometimes it fades to a dull ache, a nagging impression in the back of his mind that is not quite painful but still too much for him to ignore. Other times, it feels like the first time all over again. Like he’s just realised his soulmate will never love him back. Despite his detective skills, he hasn’t been able to determine a pattern yet. 

Gavin’s fed up with it occupying most of his waking thoughts. Hell, for the last three days he’s even dreamt of it. It’s exhausting. All he wants is to go home and curl up in his bed and fall asleep to forget how empty it is. 

The cursor keeps blinking back at him, a silence mockery at his new incapability to concentrate. He closes his eyes and tries to push away any thought not related to the case. He knows he can finish this in less than two hours. Then he’ll go home and sleep. If he keeps that goal at the forefront of his mind, maybe he’ll finally manage to do it.

Nearly two hours have passed when Gavin looks up from his computer again. He’s almost done completing his files and probably would have if not for a voice breaking him out of his concentration. 

No matter what he’s doing, Connor’s voice is always enough for him to stop paying attention to what he’s doing. Just knowing he’s there makes the pain jump at the forefront of his mind again. 

He hears a loud laugh following whatever Connor just said and Gavin can feel the hair from his neck rise up in cold, quiet ire. Hank and Connor are still partners and are apparently making a great team, maybe even the best one in the precinct. Fan-fucking-tastic. 

Every time he sees them together, he can’t help but think of that night Connor showed up at his apartment. 

_It’d been surreal at the time. Having your most stupid, intimate daydream turn into reality doesn’t happen in real life. It certainly never happens to him. Except of course it didn’t go like what the tiniest part of him dreamt of. They couldn’t just fall into each other’s arms. Too much had happened._

_Instead, they talked. It was a bit uncomfortable at first, they didn’t really know each other after all. It started with Connor explaining his reaction - or lack of - to first seeing Gavin and how it all changed once he decided to deviate._

_He told him about how he had to fight to remain that way and the way CyberLife almost got back the control they’d held over him. How the pain in his chest had been part of what had made him fight. Gavin couldn’t help but feel guilty that he’d went to bed around that time and would have had no idea if anything had happened to Connor at the time. “I didn’t know much,” Connor said, “but I knew I had to succeed. To you again. Maybe even, if I got lucky, try and fix things.” As he said those words, he tentatively put his hand on Gavin’s thigh. The touch was light and hesitant but Gavin knew they could both feel it. The pain had eased down, even if just a little._

_After that, they started talking more easily, discussing anything and everything that came to mind. Connor loves dogs, Gavin plays the piano. The bond being broken didn’t change anything about the fact that they were both made for one another. They were made to get along, to like each other, maybe even more than that._

_It was only when the first lights started shining through the window that Gavin realised they’d been at it for hours. They’d shifted from their initial places on the couch and were now facing each other, leaning their backs the armrests. The soft hues of red and orange illuminated Connor in the softest of ways, making him look almost angelic if not for the fact that the calmness he’d been exuding all night was fading away. The more light came in, the more distracted he’d looked._

_“What’s going on,” Gavin asked._

_“There’s someone else I need to see.”_

_Gavin immediately wished he’d stayed silent. He knows who Connor’s talking about. Of course it’s him. He can’t help the jealousy he feels. Why was Connor always looking for Hank? Why couldn’t he be enough? Maybe he’d been right to cut the string. Maybe there’d been a mistake and Connor wasn’t supposed to be with him._

_A hand gently enveloping his own broke him out of his spiralling anguish. Connor's face was much closer than it’d been a few moments ago. For the first time tonight he noticed the change in the other’s eyes. They were so much more expressive now. Showing emotions that hadn’t been there before. Pleading him to understand._

_Once again Gavin felt guilty for being jealous but some part of him remained angry. Connor had seen the string, had realised what their link was and had never said a word about it. And despite what he’d told Gavin, he knew he’d shown signs of emotions before deviating._

_He’d seen Connor show empathy towards that other android during the interrogation. Had protected him. He’d also seen the footage from the Eden Club’s back alley. He knew Connor had let those two androids go, no matter how hush-hush the whole thing had been kept all because Fowler’s golden boy wouldn’t have been blamed._

_But talking to the person who was supposed to be his soulmate would have been too much. He didn’t say any of this. He simply nodded._

_“I can come back later,” Connor offered._

_“I think it best if you don’t,” Gavin replied quietly. “I’m still tired and probably need some rest.”_

_Connor left without another word, taking the dismissal for what it was._

Just like that night, a hand brings him back to reality, preventing him from drowning in his own thoughts. Connor’s standing next to him, a not-quite-smile tugging at his lips.

“I’ve made you some tea. It’s getting late and coffee won’t do you any favours once you get home,” Connor explains, deposing a still fuming cup before joining Hank at their joined desks. 

The drink is, of course, just to his taste. Strongly infused with the tiniest bit of milk. Gavin wonders how Connor knows how he likes it, he’s never made himself tea at work before. When he turns back to his computer, the ache is nothing more than a quiet hum. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a simple one-shot but I couldn't stop thinking about this story so here's another chapter. There should be two more chapters to this. 
> 
> I hope you'll like it, please leave a kudo or comment if you do. 
> 
> You can also find me on Tumblr, same name as here.


	3. Chapter 3

There are many noises that Gavin hates. Sounds that will ruin his day. But the one that is far above all the others is the original Batman theme song. Not because he doesn’t like the superhero, no he was his favourite growing up, but because it means he’s gonna have to leave the comfort of his bed. Blindly feeling for his phone, he finds the offending object and brings it to his ear.

“Detective Reed,” he grumbles, his voice sluggish, half buried in his pillow. 

“Hi, this is Officer Jensen. There’s been a double homicide downtown and you’re needed on the scene.” 

“And why the fuck didn’t you call someone working nights?” Gavin asks, annoyance clearly showing. 

“I’m- I’m sorry, Sir. The Detective in charge specifically asked for you. Said they could use your help. I’m just following orders.” 

Gavin is already halfway out of his bed when he replies: “Alright, text me the location,” and hangs up, not waiting for an answer. He’s too tired to deal with a bumbling rookie right now. 

It’s less than half an hour later when Gavin shows up at the scene, exiting his car with a cup of coffee he got god knows where at four in the morning. The lights of the police cars cast weird shows on his face, accentuating the bags under his eyes and the stubble he didn’t have time to shave. 

There’s a little crowd standing before the house front-yard and he will never understand people’s morbid curiosity. Why would you stand outside in the dead of night just to catch a glimpse of a body bag. He shoves though and walks past the holographic police tape and directly heads inside the house. Following the many voices coming from upstairs, Gavin walks into what was the master bedroom.

Now, it resembles more a slaughterhouse. Despite the heavy smell that’s hanging outside the room, he’s not prepared. The white sheets are now a striking, bloody red. It’s everywhere. On the floor, on the wall above the bed spelling the word “IMPOSTERS”. On the temple of the android standing in the middle of the room. It makes Gavin regret having stopped for coffee. 

Connor is standing at the feet of the bed, probably analysing the scene in front of him. His brows are furrowed and the downturn of his lips, no matter how subtle it is, are enough for Gavin to see how upset he is. Feeling emotions has made the job much harder on him, every new case taking a toll on his too soft heart. When he turns his head and notices Gavin standing in the doorway, his frown is replaced by the barest hint of a smile.

“Good evening Gavin. I’m sorry I had you called in the middle of the night but I’m afraid I’m gonna need your help on this one,” he says a little bit sheepish. 

It suddenly hits Gavin that _Connor_ was the one to call for him. Not because he was closest or not to disturb his usual partner but because he wanted _his_ help. He walked up to him, standing next to the android, each of them facing one of the victims before speaking up again. 

“Nah, it’s okay, don’t worry about it,” he waved his hand dismissively. “Why don’t you fill me in?”

“The victims are Terri Hughes, 34, and Theodore Johns, 38. They were stabbed to death in their bed, her receiving the worst of the attack.” His voice darkens as he adds: “The fingers of their left hands were cut off while they were still alive, each pinky shoves down the other’s throat. Given the state of their bodies, ”

“Jesus Christ,” is all Gavin finds himself able to say. No wonder Connor was distraught when he found him.“Did you find anything that could help us find the sick fuck who did this?”

Connor just shakes his head. His LED is still a solid red. It pains Gavin to see him look like this. He wonders if he’s ever considered doing something else than what he’s been built for. He takes a quick look around, trying to become more familiar with the scene before grabbing the sleeve of the other’s jacket. 

“I need some fresh air.” 

The out is obvious. Gavin’s been here less than ten minutes and the smell, no matter how unpleasant at first, isn’t so strong that one couldn’t get used to it. Still, Connor’s shoulders look lighter as he nods, following the Detective downstairs. 

Rookies are milling around, checking every door, every window of the house to find out how the murderer came in. They go to the kitchen and the look Gavin throws the few people there is enough for them to leave. There’s some good to be found in being the resident asshole. Especially when it’s the dead of night and he looks ready to murder the first person who’ll dare to tell him no. 

“So, do you have an idea of what happened here?” Gavin asks. He has a few theories of his own but wants to know what Connor thinks. He’s not too proud to admit that the android has probably noticed things he hasn’t.

“I think it safe enough to say this case involves soulmates,” Connor throws a cautious look at Gavin as he says it. “Based on the note left on the wall, maybe one of them but their string and the person it was connected to wanted revenge.”

Gavin nods. It makes sense. It also means the case just became a lot more complicated. Gavin’s always hated them, and not just because he messed his link up. They were always the most gruesome, cruel murders, especially when one of the two had destroyed the connection, the pain driving one of the two crazy. Sometimes it scared him to think of that. But even beyond that, finding the suspect and proving it was them was always a pain in the ass. No one but the two parties involved can say if the string links them together. If one of them is dead and the other’s the killer they need a different approach. 

“Yeah, I agree with you on that one. But unless you can find anything on the internet about one of them having met their soulmate, I think we’ll have to wait until tomorrow to ask around.”

It’s another hour of looking around and trying to find new evidence before Gavin calls it a night. Connor tries to argue, to tell him there’s still more they can do but he quickly shuts him down. If he yawns one more time he’s pretty sure his jaw is gonna stay on the floor. He also needs to get the fuck away from this horror house but that he keeps for himself. 

When they exit the house, Gavin is relieved to see the onlookers have deserted the street. Maybe it’s got something to do with the fact that it’s now pouring. 

“How did you come here?” Gavin shouts over the deafening sound the rain makes. 

“I took a cab here.”

“Get in then, I’ll drive you,” he says before getting in, effectively quieting any reply Connor might have had.

He doesn’t have time to hesitate before the door on the passenger side is thrown open, Gavin looking at him half expectantly, half impatient. Connor rolls his eyes and graciously slides into the car, softly shutting the door behind him. 

The motor is already on and as soon as Connor’s seatbelt is on, Gavin gets the car into motion. When the car pulls over less than ten minutes later, Connor can’t help but frown. The ride to the precinct from the victim’s house is seventeen minutes long and they’ve been driving for exactly nine. Looking through the window, he sees the bright letters spelling _Liquor Store_ on the front, their shiny lights illuminating both their faces. 

“This isn’t the precinct.”

“No, it isn’t,” Gavin sighs. “Wait here, it’ll only take a minute.” With that, Gavin puts on his hoodie and exits the car, the keys still in the ignition. 

True to his word, he returns to the car less than two minutes later with a brown paper bag he shoves in Connor’s lap. Curiosity taking the best of him, he looks inside, not paying attention to the way the car is heading. Inside are a bottle of whisky and a pack of thirium. 

Gavin can see the LED’s red reflection in the window. He doesn’t wait for Connor to ask to answer his question. “After a night like this, I need a drink, okay? The thirium’s for you. I’m not about to become some sad fuck who drinks alone.” He knows Hank’s been doing much better since Connor joined the force, still, the jab makes him feel slightly less pathetic. 

They drive in silence to Gavin’s place. Picking up the bag, Connor follows him inside. By the time he walks into the living room, his shoes neatly aligned near the door, Gavin has already collapsed on the couch.

Still wearing his jacket, he’s slumped forward, his head in his hands, elbows resting on his knees. The soft noise of glass clinking against his poor excuse for a coffee table makes him look up. A tumbler of whisky is waiting for him, the soft amber colour of the liquid way more appealing that it should be.

Next to it is another one filled with a deep, almost iridescent, blue fluid. It’s the first time Gavin sees thirium outside of a crime scene and it looks almost magical. Like a potion from those books he used to read as a child.

The sharp contrast of the red thread still tied around Connor’s ring finger as he grabs his drink makes him look away. It’s too painful to see. Especially after a night like this one. For the hundredth time, he wonders if Connor will someday find someone while he stays exactly where he is now, regretting the choice he made in an excess of rage, finding himself falling more and more for the quiet android.

Clutching his own drink, Gavin throws it back in one go. The burn of the alcohol soothes down the sudden sadness he’s feeling, the hint of sweetness lingers on his tongue, erasing the sour taste that’s been on his tongue since he walked into that room. The second glass goes just like the previous one. 

“You shouldn’t be ingesting that much alcohol this fast,” Connor frowns when Gavin helps himself to a third drink.

“Yeah well people shouldn’t kill each other but here we are,” he sighs. “But hey, at least it means I get to keep my job for another week.”

Sitting back in the couch he finally looks back at Connor. The gentle curve of his brow, the soft strand of hair always out of place. The deep, warm, inviting brown eyes. Did the engineers at CyberLife know, somehow, how kind and softhearted the android would become?

“Have you ever thought of doing something else? Away from the violence, the murders, the drugs and all that shit.”

He can’t see the LED from where he’s sitting but he knows it’s circling yellow. It’s made obvious by the small wrinkle that has appeared in between his brows and the way he’s mindlessly playing with his loose thread.

“I don’t know what else I could do,” Connor finally admits. “Being a detective is what I’m supposed to be, it’s what I was built for. It’s _all_ I was built for.” It’s said so quietly that Gavin almost misses it. 

“The others got to be what they wanted to, why wouldn’t you?” He asks, genuinely curious.

“They don’t have to make up for the same sins I have. I’ve caused so much pain, hurt so many people. A lifetime wouldn’t be enough to make up for it.”

The pain etched on Connor’s face makes Gavin’s chest ache in a way that is far worse than anything he’s endured since meeting the android. It’s not fair that he should feel this way because what he did during the revolution. They all did things they weren’t proud of. Inching closer to Connor, bumping into him slightly, partly because of the alcohol, partly because he’s always trying to touch him in the most inconspicuous ways, always trying to ease the pain, Gavin puts a heavy, comforting hand on his thigh. 

“To hell with that,” he half-slurs, “You weren’t free back then. You deserve to find something that you want. Find it and take it.”

When Connor finally looks back at him, there’s something different, something that wasn’t there before. A heat and determination that makes Gavin’s inside feel all fuzzy and warm. At that moment, Connor looks more alive than he ever has. Before he gets a chance to dwell on that change, Connor kisses him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the new chapter, it's a bit longer than the previous two but it just didn't feel right to cut it in the middle.
> 
> I hope you liked this update, please consider leaving a comment or kudo if you did!  
> You can find me on tumblr, also as BrightestStarInTheSky.
> 
> The next chapter should be here soon but with my exams coming up I can't promise anything.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter includes a very explicit sex scene.

Gavin has thought about first kissing his soulmate more times than he would admit to. He’s imagined them being a boy, a girl. Younger or slightly older than him. It happening in the street as they met or maybe after a few dates. He’s thought about it so much he thought he would be ready for any possibilities. 

He never thought it’d be with an android. Much less that he’d stay frozen for so long that they would move back. The sudden coldness that takes place where just a moment before was the warmth of Connor’s lips is what finally prompts him to move. 

He chases them, puts one of his hand on the other’s neck, the very tip of his finger scratching against the short hair there, just to make sure he won’t go any further. Connor kisses him back. He’s a little clumsy, a lot eager. 

It makes Gavin wonder if this is his first kiss. He hopes it is, hopes he’ll get to be his last, and every other one in between. The android’s skin is softer than he expected, softer than any human’s could ever be. 

Very quickly, in the way only an android could, Connor picks up on Gavin preferences, what makes his heart beat faster, what makes his grip on his hair a little bit tighter. Their kiss, already far from chaste as it is, becomes even more heated. One of Connor’s hands drags up Gavin’s body, feeling the hard expense of his torso before fisting into the fabric of his sweater. Gavin racks his fingers against Connor’s scalp. The noise that it brings out of him, half a whimper, half a moan, only spurs him on. 

He climbs into Connor’s lap, wanting more. Needing more. He tentatively licks at Connor’s lower lip, slowly sucks on it. When Connor opens his mouth to take in a not needed breath, Gavin takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss. It’s slow at first, allowing the other one to get used to these new sensations. Connor tastes surprisingly sweet despite the thirium he’s been drinking tonight.

The slight burn in his lungs becoming annoyingly distracting, Gavin breaks the kiss. He drags his lips against Connor’s, letting little puffs of hot air hit his wet, shiny lips, enjoying the shiver it incites in him.

A hand still tangled in the soft brown locks, Gavin pulls Connor’s head back, exposing to his hungry eyes the long white expense of skin that has been driving him crazy for weeks now. He nips, licks and nibbles at the skin there. It’s noticeably hotter than it was a few minutes ago. There’s a soft hum coming from his inside, his fans trying hard to keep his core temperature stable. It’s not much of a success. 

When Gavin finally allows for his hips to rock against Connor’s, strong hands shoot up to hold onto them, maybe a little harder than necessary. To guide him, impose a rhythm or –

“Stop, this is a mistake,” Connor rasped.

Something breaks in Gavin, most probably his heart but he refuses to acknowledge it. 

“Don’t you want this? Don’t you want _me_?” his voice almost breaks on the last word. Refusing to let Connor see the hurt that he knows is in his eyes, he keeps his face hidden in his neck, peppering the skin there with soft kisses. 

“I –That’s not  – Y ou’re drunk. We shouldn’t – this is not a good idea,” he stutters back. In any other moment, Gavin probably would have made fun him for that. 

Gavin tries to move again but Connor’s hold on him won’t let him budge. His hand that isn’t tangled in Connor’s hair comes to grip his left bicep, wanting to feel the strength of those artificial muscles under his fingers. He’s panting against his neck, the hot puffs of air tingling the other’s s skin just below his ear. 

“Please Connor,” Gavin whispers in an imploring tone, no longer caring how pathetic he sounds, “I need this pain to stop, even if it’s not real. Even if it’s just for tonight.”

The faintest simmer goes through Connor’s hands, Gavin only feels it because he’s holding onto him tight enough to leave a bruise behind. He hopes it does. Still refusing to look at the android, he doesn’t see the struggle on his face. The hesitation starting to grow.

His heart heavy but determined to get his way, Gavin raises his head, finally meeting Connor’s eyes. He can see the struggle in them, the hesitation starting to grow. The way brown has been swallowed by the black of his pupils. 

He isn’t above playing dirty to gets what he wants. And what he wants is right in front of him. Bringing his face closer, gently brushing his nose against Connor’s, he breaths against his lips “I want to feel your hands on my skin, I want you to mark me. I want you _in_ me.”

That’s the last straw. Connor was barely holding it together and after that he just snaps. Without any warning he stands up, taking advantage of the fact that Gavin’s hanging from his shoulders, arms and legs wrapped around his body, to grope at his ass. 

If Connor ever brings up the little yelp that escapes Gavin as he’s picked up, he’ll deny it. Maybe even punch the fucker, just in case. He can’t tear his eyes off of Connor’s face. The expression strangely reminds him of the time when the android hadn’t yet deviated. He looks like a man on a mission. A mission that he won’t let anything distract him from. 

When they reach the bedroom, he doesn’t even have time to feel self-conscious about the mess before Connor goes straight for his bed and gently lowers both of them on it. The strong body of the android is hovering just a few inches from his, both arms cradling his head, effectively caging him in. 

“If this gets too much, or you want me to stop, I need you to tell me,” Connor says, his eyes never leaving Gavin’s.

All he gets in response is a hurried nod, hands already pulling at the collar this too perfect shirt. He doesn’t budge, not even a hair. At that moment, Gavin hates android strength more than he ever has before. Even more than when it landed him unconscious on the floor of the precinct. 

“Gavin,” he insists, “I need an answer. Or this is not happening.”

That gets his attention. Putting his horniness aside for a few minutes, he notices the little line that has appeared between Connor’s brows. The way his lips are just slightly pinched together. It’s not a good look on him. Gavin doesn’t need some android mojo to know that his stress level is higher than normal, and he’s only contributing to it. 

Slowly raising himself on his left elbow, he threads his fingers through Connor’s soft lock, still not getting bored of the way it feels, and kisses him. It’s much more gentle and sincere that it has any right to be. It’s what Gavin thought kissing his soulmate should be like. Something he knows he probably won’t get to do again after tonight. 

“Alright Con, I’ll tell you. I promise,” he whispers against his lips.

That’s all it takes for Connor to relax. It’s not much but it’s all he needed. Reassurance that he’s not out of line, that Gavin won’t allow him to hurt him again. That he won’t ever take away his ability to choose. 

At long last, Gavin feels Connor’s body lower against his. His sigh gets lost in the kiss that follows, silenced against those lips he’s been dreaming of since day one. Now that nothing’s standing in their way the kiss quickly turns desperate. Months of pant up frustration are flooding from every pore of Gavin’s skin.

One hand rests on Connor’s slim waist, loving the feel of his artificial muscles shifting, while the other one reaches for what’s been driving him insane for weeks, months now. That infuriating, always perfectly placed tie. He uses it to bring Connor even closer to him before taking it off, throwing it haphazardly on the side, not really caring where it lands. He knows it landed on the floor when he feels more than he hears Connor grumble. 

Taking the tie off isn’t enough. It’s not nearly enough. His fingers are made clumsy with excitement. Since the case at the Eden Club, he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about what the android might be hiding underneath this suit of his. And if he also imagined him dancing on one of those platforms, wearing one of those revealing outfits, well, no one has to know. 

With Connor’s help, the shirt comes off. He shrugs it off and throws it out of the way, following the same way the tie went a few moments before. He’s too far gone to give two shits about the way his clothes will be wrinkled once they’re done now. Not like he cares about that on any other day.

His own loud breathing and hammering heartbeat is all that Gavin can hear right now. He’s finally getting to be with Connor. The way Gavin touches his body is almost reverent. He can’t believe the android is here with him. He looks like a Greek god, carved from white marble by loving hands, almost as loving as his. 

Every single detail of his body has been carefully selected, even his small blemishes and beauty marks. His fingers graze over them, over the curve of a collar bone, a cute pink nipple, the slight dip right above his pump regulator. 

The noise that comes out from Connor’s throat is closer to radio static than it is to a moan. It’s still the hottest thing Gavin’s ever heard. The skin underneath his, warm and slightly humming, turns white everywhere they are touching. Resting his forehead against Gavin’s, Connor tries to rain his rapidly blinking LED, its red the only light in the room.

“I’m sorry,” Connor hisses. “Last time someone touched me here, it was under very different circumstances.”

“Is it unpleasant? Do you want me to stop?” His eyes never leave Connor’s face, searching every square inch of it for a sign of what he should do. 

“No. No, don’t,” he says, half panting. “It’s different from what I’m used to feeling. I’m just – This is all very new to me.”

Gavin can’t help but chuckle in response. His fingers keep gently caressing the skin inside that circle. “Believe it or not tin-man, but I’d kind of figured that one out.” It’s not mean, the way he says it, t’s barely even teasing. It’s simply fond. 

Catching Connor’s lips in a chaste kiss, Gavin slowly slides his free hand down his strong back, slightly scratching the perfect skin. He grabs a fistful of his ass, contrasting with their kiss, he asks: “Do you want me to take the lead?”

That seems to get Connor’s attention away from his glitchy skin. He grounds his hips against Gavin’s, allowing him to feel how hard he is. _And definitely not a Greek statue,_ Gavin thinks. He gives up on arguing, the sinful way in which he moans stealing all his credibility. 

“If I remember correctly, you wanted me to wreck you.” His voice is dark, dripping with all sorts of promises. 

“That’s –ah!– that’s not what I said,” Gavin replies breathlessly.

Lowering his head, never stopping the unhurried grinding if his hips, Connor lowers his head and licks a line along the side of Gavin’s neck, from his collarbone to right under his left ear. “You didn’t need to. I know that’s what you want.” 

He doesn’t give Gavin time to answer before his teeth sink into sensitive skin there and he starts sucking on it. Even with his best efforts, he won’t be able to hide it tomorrow. People saw them leaving together. Everyone will know who Gavin spent the night with. Everyone will know who he belongs to. 

He only lets go to get rid of the annoying grey sweater still in his way before going back to doing exactly what Gavin has asked of him. Connor starts biting and sucking and leaving marks everywhere he can. He licks down those rock hard abs, only stopping to nibble at the soft fat of his lower stomach. He scratches his blunt nails along one of his sides just to see the pretty way Gavin arches his back. The blue of Connor’s LED turns yellow every time he manages to get a sound out of the man lying under him. 

Once Connor’s plump lips reach Gavin’s belt, he looks up, brown peeking through thick lashes, to find green eyes staring at him. Gavin’s arousal is written all over his face. A blush has crept up his upper-chest, his pupils are blown, his heart is beating way faster than it usually does. He already looks like someone that’s been thoroughly fucked and Connor’s barely started with him. 

With much steadier hands than Gavin would have had, Connor unbuckles it before taking his jeans and underwear off in one go, only pausing to get rid of his partner's shoes. The cold air against his heated skin sends a shiver down his entire body. 

Connor takes his time covering each inch of skin he brushes with kisses and other signs of appreciation. Hidden signs of devotion. He spends an inordinate amount of time on his thighs, holding them, kneading them. Admiring how his strong muscles yield under his touch. He loves the way he can feel them contract every time he gets a little too close to Gavin’s hard, leaking member. 

Gavin loves the teasing. He loves seeing Connor between his thighs, his entire attention focused on him. But it quickly becomes insufferable. The little puffs of air, fleeting touches against his throbbing dick are starting to drive him crazy. He can feel the last remaining of his composure leaving him as the seconds tick by. It’s not long before he’s left a babbling mess, begging Connor to get on with it. 

And Connor listens, the look in his eyes one that Gavin has never seen the android wear. He licks along his length before swallowing him whole. He then slowly brings his head back up and pays attention to the head, gently sucking on it. His LED changes colour for one cycle and it hits Gavin that Connor just tasted his precum. Not only tasted it but analysed it and by the moan he just let out, enjoyed it. It’s way hotter than it’s got any right to be. Fully aware he’ll blow his load way too quickly if he keeps on watching, Gavin lets his head fall back onto his pillow. 

“Tell me what you want me to do.”

Gavin hides his face in the pillow, too embarrassed to look him in the eye as he answers. Maybe that way the android won’t notice the blush that has taken residence on his face. “You mouth. Connor, please…”

It’s feeling Connor grab both his hands that make Gavin look at Connor again. Their hold is far more gentle than it should be, both his thumbs drawing small, reassuring circles on the palm of his hands. He can’t help but laugh mentally at the fact that Connor is the one reassuring him. When his hands stop beneath his knees though, he’s almost glad he did it. 

“Hold them up for me, will you?” 

Connor’s intention hit Gavin right between the eyes. Breathless due to the anticipation he does as he’s asked. There’s something thrilling about finding himself so exposed to Connor’s eye, not a single part of him hidden. It’s so intoxicating he almost forgets to feel embarrassed.

Time seems to stop for a minute, their gazes locked on one another, green meeting brown, before he finally feels Connor lick a long line from his hole to right beneath his balls. A gasp escapes him, his eyes roll back, hushed falls back on the pillow and he loses himself in the feeling. 

Connor keeps teasing him, his tongue not quite breaching in just yet. His breath is burning hot and when he softly pants against Gavin’s dampened flesh it leaves him shivering. It continues like that for longer than Gavin would like. He loves the feeling of Connor’s strong hands holding his hips down, the knowledge that they’ll leave bruises behind but he needs more.

Connor must feel his desperation because his tongue finally gets passed that tight ring of muscle. Gavin presses his nails in the flesh of his own thighs and lets out the most obscene sound either of them has ever heard. “God, I need you to make more of those,” Connor almost growls against his skin. 

And he makes it his mission to get him to do just that. He licks further into Gavin, fucks him with his tongue and it’s not long before he slips in a finger. And then another. 

Gavin can’t help the noises he’s making, couldn’t even try and contain them if he tried. He thinks he might be drooling but he doesn’t care. All that matters right now is Connor, his tongue and his fingers. The world around them could be on fire and it still wouldn’t be as important as this.

When Connor’s finger finally push down against his prostate, Gavin finds himself sobbing, helplessly pushing down against them, chasing that feeling, not caring about the tears running down his face. A familiar tension quickly builds up in his stomach. He knows he could come like that, but he doesn’t want to. Not before he’s felt Connor in him. 

“St-Stop,” he hiccups, trying his best not to end all of this far too soon. 

The other way this could have been taken hits him when he realises Connor has stopped touching him altogether. The android scooted away from him, almost left the bed. His LED is blinking an alarming red. But what hurts Gavin the most is the horror painting Connor’s features, how he seems frozen in place. 

Gavin reaches to grab him by the arm and as soon as their skin touch, it’s like all of his programs kick back in at the same time. What comes out of his mouth doesn’t make any sense. It’s like all of the thoughts he’s having are coming out at the same time. But Gavin doesn’t need to hear him explain to know where he fucked up.

“Connor, calm down,” he says in a firm but gentle tone. “You didn’t do anything wrong, okay?”

“I didn’t?” The way he asks it is almost reminiscing of a child.

Gavin moves closer, his second hand coming up to brush back that one strand of hair that could never stand in place before bringing their foreheads together. “No, you did so good, so good. Maybe a little too good, hm?” Gavin chuckles. 

He feels more than he hears the little _Oh_ he gets in answer. 

“We good?” Gavin asks, breathing in deeply in a vain attempt to calm himself down. His breath is still a little too shallow, his heart still beating a little too fast. 

Connor nods, their noses bumping against each other as a result. When his face moves again, Gavin’s lips fall open expecting a kiss. What he doesn’t expect is for Connor to lick away the trail of his forgotten tears. 

Despite all they’ve done tonight, this feels like the most intimate one. He’s been subjected to Connor’s analysis system all night and yet, right now, under his unwavering stare, he feels like the android could read his innermost thoughts. And what scares him the most is that he wishes it were true. 

“Did I make you uncomfortable?” 

Gavin doesn’t respond. Instead, he raises his head and captures Connor’s lips in a kiss. It’s a slow and lazy one. A Sunday morning kiss shared between two lovers buried under their covers, pretending the rest of the world doesn’t exist. It screams everything from _I’m sorry I hurt you_ to _I wish we could go back_ , _from let’s get a dog together_ to _what do you want for breakfast_ , everything but _this is only for one night._

Lying back down, Gavin drags Connor with him. He probs at his lips with his tongue, softly prying them open and gently sucks on Connor’s when it comes to meet his own. Quickly, they fall right back where they were and when Connor’s hips rock against Gavin’s, he immediately bucks against them, his dripping cock leaving a stain on the dressed pants. 

It downs on him that he still hasn’t seen all of Connor and all his remaining brain-power focuses on getting him out of those too-tight pants. His hands fumble with the belt buckle, trying desperately to open it but they’re shaking too hard. The nerves, mixed with his excitement are making it way more difficult than it should be. 

Both they hands reach for Connor’s belt. Gavin’s are so unsteady they become more of an obstacle than anything else but Connor still manages to get it open. The belt lands on the floor with a loud clang but neither of them cares. Connor’s pants are quick to follow.

The android isn’t wearing any underwear and when finally, _finally_ their cocks slide together, Gavin stops breathing. Connor isn’t faring much better, his LED blinking fast. Gavin’s hands are frantic, trying to get the android where he wants him. One starts fumbling under his pillows, evidently looking for something. 

It has to be somewhere around here. He’d lazily shoved it there after last night he’d touched himself, thinking precisely of what will happen once he finds it. When feels it against his fingers, Gavin grasps the bottle firmly, his arm shooting up in excitement, almost smacking Connor in the face with it.

“C’mon Con, please,” Gavin says, shoving the bottle at Connor. 

He grabs it, not a shred of nervousness on his beautiful, perfect face. Gavin’s almost jealous, he’s the experienced one and he just knows his face is a mess. Probably all flushed and with the worst bedhead of his life. 

His eyes can’t help but glide down when he hears the cap pop open, looking as Connor lubes up his dick. Even this part of him is perfect and he can’t help but feel sad that he didn’t get to have a taste. Not that he’s complaining of what they’ve done so far. 

The soft pressure he feels against his entrance is what gets him out of his head. Connor’s looking at him, probably still waiting for Gavin’s assent. It’d be endearing if it wasn’t a habit born from such pain and trauma.

He pushes in and Gavin’s brain stops working. That first thrust is always his favourite part and he tries to commit every part of it to memory, knowing it’ll probably be the one and only time he experiences it.

Connor starts moving and Gavin can feel himself fall apart bit by bit. 

“God Gav, this is incredible. You feel so good,” Connor says breathlessly. Gavin hums in response, in agreement or asking for more praise like this he doesn’t even know. 

It only takes a few minutes for Connor to find a steady rhythm, aiming for his prostate every so often, turningGavin into even more of a moaning mess than he was before. 

Connor is moving on top of him, his eyes closed in bliss. It’s probably the first time Gavin’s seen him without any signs of worry on his face. Somehow, the android seems younger like this. He’s so lost in his own pleasure he doesn’t realise how hard he’s gripping Gavin’s hip. It’s probably going to bruise, not that Gavin would mind keeping a souvenir of this. He wouldn’t mind keeping more. 

Way faster than he would have liked, Gavin feels his orgasm approach. He wishes he were an android, that way they could have gone for ages. But then again maybe not. Connor doesn’t look like he’s doing much better, his hips becoming more erratic with each thrust.

Connor opens his eyes and stares a Gavin like it’s the first time he sees him.He whispers “You’re so beautiful.” 

Gavin’s orgasm hits him like a bullet between the eyes. He cums all over his can Connor’s torso,who follows him shortly after. Not caring about the mess, collapses against Gavin’s rapidly rising chest. His LED is pulsating a lazy blue, almost like he’s going through a soft reboot. 

Seeing him like this, Gavin desperately wants to run his fingers through his hair. He longs for the comfort of this kind of easy intimacy but before he can bring himself to do it, Connor raises his head. 

The soft, innocent expression that he had not long ago is gone, replaced by caution and uncertainty. Very slowly, Connor stands up. “I should probably go,” he says, his back to Gavin. It only takes him a second to locate all of his clothes despite them being scattered across the room. 

Gavin’s eyes never leave him. He can feel his cum starting to dry out on his torso and grabs his hist off the floor to clean himself up. He doesn’t touch the cum trickling down his thighs though, likes the idea of a part of Connor staying there.

Just as he’s about to put his clothes back one, Gavin’s hand gently wraps around his wrist. “You could stay. If you wanted to Connor, you could stay. You can spend the night here. With me.” 

“Okay.”

And without another word, Connor gets back in bed. He lies down behind Gavin and wraps an arm around him. His heart is hammering but for the first time tonight, it’s from joy alone. Connor is staying and maybe this could end up being something. 

When their fingers intertwine, he notices the red strings are touching. And when they’re this close, it looks like both of the loose ends are attached again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could say it took me this long to update because of school but this chapter just gave me a really really hard time. I'm very sorry it took so long for an update.
> 
> This was my first attempt at writing smut and it was way harder than I anticipate, I hope you'll like it nonetheless. 
> 
> Please let me know in the comments if you liked this chapter! Or send me a message on tumblr, same name as here!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you liked the story and will consider leaving a comment. 
> 
> To the people who read my Some Kind of Bromance series, I promise I haven't forgotten about that, I'm working on the next part. 
> 
> Also if you've been wondering, the title is from Somebody To Love by Queen.


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